Compelled to Write

The desire to compulsively scream out my primal scream has reached an all-time high, which is an indication to me that it is time to start writing about my experiences over the last eight years as a career-minded wife of a nomadic postdoctoral scientist.

For those of you who don't know, the postdoc years for a research scientist consists of taking positions in universities, institutions, and corporations where you're lucky to have the first year of work guaranteed. These days, scientific postdoctoral researchers spend an average of five to ten years on short-term contracts after obtaining the coveted Ph.D., and during those years, the pay is, um, let's just say, ridiculously atrocious (see this postdoc article).

The work conditions can be appalling, as well. Here are some adjectives that come to mind: dispiriting, demoralizing, anxious, isolating, bleak, wearisome. Postdocs never know where their next stop on the map is going to be once their contract expires, they usually have abusive supervisors who expect them to work around the clock, and occasionally they may have primary investigators who are all too keen to put their name to the postdoc's research and take credit for all that work. "Mentor"? Ha! More like "Oppressor".

The number of professional academic and corporate research positions has not grown in proportion to the number of scientists with Ph.D.s who are being turned out, year after year, from America's institutions of higher learning, and so there is, conveniently for some, a backlog of highly qualified individuals who are desperate for work. This phenomenon has resulted in a new term, called the "Highway Professor", which is one who drives from college to college, teaching a class here and there just to be able to put some food on the table. As well, the Wall Street Journal recently ran an article suggesting that if Ph.D.s want to find work, they should first get their passports because all the academic jobs are currently in Asia and Eastern Europe (see this postdoc article).

However, these postdoc years are suppose to serve as a period of apprenticeship, similar to a residency within medicine, where there is a strong mentoring relationship between the primary investigator and the postdoc, where the young scientist gains valuable experience which he could not obtain in any other way, and where the primary investigator builds a successful body of followers who have been touched by his masterful influence. In a perfect scenario, one hand washes the other. However, rather than serving a common purpose, these days, the postdoc usually receives the short end of the stick in the business of science. Have a project to complete? Get a postdoc to do it! Don't offer any support, don't offer any guidance, bare-minimum benefits, and a lot of pressure to produce... if he doesn't produce fast enough, there are several others waiting in line for his job! ~ This, sadly, is the reality of the situation for many now entering science.

My husband, for example, works for a large, world renowned medical research center whose name sounds similar to the name of a common sandwich condiment, and was given the stipulation that he was to produce and publish three significant papers in twelve months time or else his contract could not be renewed. In contrast, at this same institution, medical fellows are given three years to produce three papers, and are paid roughly $12k more per year to produce it.

But this blog isn't about postdoc work, or being a scientist. No. This blog is about being married to one of these pedestrians; Specifically, its about what it's like for me to be married to a postdoc... and what it means for my career (and my ability to be able to profit from my investment in my education) and my ability to raise our children in a stable environment.

In a nutshell, it's my purge.

I earned my Master's degree in management a year after I married. Soon following was the arrival of our firstborn child. At 27 years of age, I thought it was the perfect time, biologically, to have my first child. After all, I had read so many stories about how women were delaying giving birth until much later in life, after they had established themselves in their careers, and I myself had no desire to follow this trend, since its ill effects included a) taking an extended break from the career path after having spent so much time building up to it... and having to play professional catch-up with all the fresh new graduates once I returned and b) risking my health and the health of my unborn child by delaying birth until after 35, for example. So, we had our baby, and my husband ventured into his Ph.D. study soon after.

As you may have guessed, there aren't a whole many people in this unique position that I am in. Of the postdocs under the age of 40, roughly 40% are married... and of those who are married, only about 30% have one child or more. Even further, of those spouses married to postdocs and have children, it is estimated that only 10% of these spouses are not employed. What these numbers tell me is that most postdocs know better than to get married before they have settled down into their careers. But for those who do decide to get married, most of those people know better than to go ahead and have a child during the postdoc years. And the last number, well, it tells me that of those married postdocs who do have kids, the spouse better be working outside the home! Which brings me to my question... what is it about me that makes me fall into this slim, 10% of the 30% of the 40% of postdoc family demographics???

I hope to have some answers for you (and myself) real soon.